A year as a maker - personal reflections

If you'd asked me a few years ago, I would have told you that I wasn't a very creative person. That I admired people who could bring their thoughts, ideas and inspirations to life but that I myself possessed exactly zero skills to bring forward anything from my brain into the tangible world of art. I've strolled many a craft market in awe of the widespread talent and creativity that is present in my community - always a consumer, never a maker. "I'm a scientist at heart", I told myself. "Oh well".

Then my kids started to age out of that glorious phase where art supplies are essentials and arts and crafts are life. I missed creating things with them. I missed giving them prompts and ideas and watching their creations come to life. And, while I keep at them to come back to the kitchen table to write a story or make a mess with me, I've launched own creative journey, something I couldn't have imagined five years ago.

The candles snuck up on me. Its no surprise, really - a combination of art and science. I've always loved candles and included them in any relaxation practice - reading, baths, you name it. And, as I entered my thirties, I started to notice that I was getting headaches even from the "nicest" candles I'd buy, spending top dollar assuming I was buying quality and bringing something natural and healthy into my home. Then, with the arrival of my four babies over the next decade, fire was no longer safe in our house, and my candles found themselves at the back of our linen cupboard.

Fast forward to middle age. The kids, while still completely bananas, are at an age where I can get a moment or two to myself, and I (usually) don't worry that they'll do something crazy and burn the house down. I started to buy myself some "nice" candles - high end, seemingly plant-focused... and... cue the headache. One candle I lit (that cost $60) had an undercurrent of a smell that rewound me to my 200-level organic chemistry lab. Puzzled, I dove into some research, learning about pthalates, paraffin production, and environmental toxins. "I can do better than this", I thought. I've conquered a gluten free diet - how hard can this be?

Thanks to the amazing age of algorithms, and "Shop" and Instagram feeds, I could practically bathe in candle knowledge. Videos, free learning and advice, those "what am I doing wrong" posts in candle groups, and free courses gave me the confidence to look for a supplier and order materials, I am an applied learner, after all.

One of my many early candle experiments - where I learned that using too much mica clogs the wick... even though it looks gorgeous. These wooden wicks are beautiful but also not a fit for this vessel.

My first candles were "okay". The wicks weren't quite right, but they burned, smelling pretty good but with a bit (a lot) of tunnelling. I became obsessed with cool glass vessels of all shapes and sizes from thrift stores. Those candles looked amazing, but... some didn't burn quite, and I did have one minor fire experimenting with wooden wicks. I learned that vessels of different sizes and shapes all had different needs. Even a different essential oil would change up the outcome. Sigh. All the testing I'd heard about in my research was clearly a "thing". So, I rolled up my sleeves and started an excel workbook. To this day, one tab is named "effing wicks". I tested soy wax blends, beeswax (my favourite smell in the entire world), and every size and shape of vessels, wicks and essential oil blends. I had some okay results, some complete failures, and some magical outcomes that I just couldn't stop smelling. It took a year.

I sold some candles on Marketplace. I gave some as gifts. People gave me wonderful feedback. I was hooked. Then the stress levels in our house went through the roof for a year as one of our kids went off the rails. I kept making candles. I became obsessed with creating a product. I created some essential oil blends that made my nervous system sing. I played with mica, molds, and a bit of sparkle. Having something to create, refine and bring to life saved me during this period.

This year, I created this website (such as it is). And, I took a deep breath, loaded my wagon, and brought my candles to several markets in the Nanaimo area. What a gift that has been. The makers in the market communities are so talented, and so kind. It was a trial run for me - but, I'm hooked. All the positive feedback from browsers and buyers who picked up a candle and gave it a smell have helped me lay my imposter syndrome to rest, or at least shove it in a closet for now.

I have found some great suppliers, keeping my products "made in Canada". Voyageur Soap and Candle provides many of my scents, as well as New Directions Aromatics. I am in love with more than one line of vessel offered by Rama Candles.

I've learned so much. There's a lot of space here in creativity land, and I'd be happy to share my experiences and learning with anyone interested in making candles.

To this day, if I open the lid of one of my candle, I can't help but pick it up and smell it. I have a few candles I'll be retiring for now, and a few new ones on my mind. And, if I'd still rather light up an Apres or a Fireside Chai than buying a candle from a store, I feel like I can call that success. I can call myself a maker. I plan to keep on making, anyway.